Pauline's Holiday Blog

Christmas 2008

2008-12-19T12:22:00.000-08:00

Collecting for a tiny baby Boy!

2008-12-04T10:26:00.000-08:00

This Christmas I am collecting for a tiny baby boy and his family. The father just got laid off and are in real need. This little boy is less than 3 months and has NOTHING so ANYTHING would be wonderful. Just found out they have a 6 year old boy with size 12 shoe's and wears a small 6-7 in clothes..
Please, if you can help, we can send a tax receipt, send all items to our Head Quarters at:

Heavenly Angels in Need
Children's Division
41300 Upper Calapooia Drive
Sweet Home, Oregon 97386

Thank you so very much.
Holiday Angel
President Heavenly Angels in Need
Children's Division

Toys & Decorations I am working on & have done!!

2008-12-02T15:35:00.000-08:00

My first ever Vintage burial gown I have sewn from this wedding gown. More will come from this gown!!

2008-05-23T14:11:00.000-07:00

Helping Children Cope from North Pole on My Space

2008-04-17T10:01:00.000-07:00

Helping Children Cope When a Loved
One Is on Military Deployment

Americans read the big, bold newspaper headlines: "U.S.
to Send New Soldiers
to Afghanistan," "Duty Calls," and "Local Guard Soldiers Headed to Iraq.
"
When these headlines refer to members of children's families and others
from the community, teachers want
to learn what they can do to help.

This article shares strategies that
teachers can use to help the children
and families of deployed men
and women who are active military
or members of reserve units.

"I don't like the Army,
Miss Allen"
The national headlines have
become reality in our midwestern
town three-and-a-half hours from
the closest active military installation,
Fort Knox, Kentucky.
One day
in May, I [Megan Allen] noticed a
change of behavior in Kayla, an
extremely social kindergartner.
She
was quiet during morning meeting,
keeping to herself when she is
usually eager to share stories about
her neighbor's puppy, her older sister's boyfriend, or her new bunk bed.
My
concern increased when she put her head down and refused to play "Slap It,"
one of her favorite word wall games.
My first thought was that Kayla was sick,
but after a visit to the nurse she returned to class with a note saying she had
no signs of illness. Nevertheless, I knew something was wrong.

Before lunch, I took Kayla aside for a private talk.
She said she was sad but
did not elaborate, so I didn't push the subject, knowing she would share
with me when she was ready.
At the end of the day, while waiting for her ride
home, Kayla was ready to talk.
Looking up with a sad face she mumbled, "I
don't like the Army, Miss Allen. It's going to take my dad away.
" At that moment,
I understood the reason for her uncharacteristic behavior that day.
Later, her
mother explained that Kayla's father's Army reserve unit was being deployed
to Afghanistan for 18 months.
This kindergartner was about to become one of
the thousands of children affected by a family member's military deployment.

Military deployment
Military deployment is a temporary assignment overseas or within the United
States (such as after Hurricane Katrina); during these assignments families
must live apart from their loved one in the service.
Whether they attend a
Department of Defense school on an overseas military base or a public school
in the U.S.
, many American children are aching for a loved one who has been
called to active duty in Afghanistan, Iraq, or elsewhere.

For many families, deployment leads to stress and uncertainty.
These stressed
families may be unaware of available resources within their community, particularly
when service members are reservists.
These families need supportive
teachers and schools.

Implications for teachers:
With the rise in military deployments, many teachers are educating emotionally
distracted children and feel ill equipped to support the special needs of
this growing population.
A kindergarten teacher whose class includes two
children with fathers deployed to Afghanistan expressed her thoughts: "I feel
helpless . . .
I have no idea what it is like to have a loved one away or [to face]
the possibility that he or she may not come home.
" The following suggestions
may help teachers support prekindergarten to primary children and families
affected by military deployments.

Supporting children emotionally
Many teachers are unfamiliar with the unique lifestyle and challenges faced
by families during military deployment.
As with other families, maintaining
open lines of communication with military families will help teachers better
understand their special circumstances.
Effective teachers know it is important
to provide emotional support to all children.
A safe and caring learning environment
is essential for children affected by deployment as it can help them
build coping skills.
Children who receive emotional support are also more likely
to maintain their academic performance even during difficult times.

Here are some suggestions for creating a supportive, stress-free learning
environment:
• Greet each child warmly every day.
A warm smile or hug as a child walks in
the door can go a long way in helping a child feel accepted and secure (Waddell
& Thomas 2004).

• Maintain consistent schedules and routines.

• Be more alert to children's behaviors, feelings, and conversations during play,
routines, and other activities, indoors and outdoors.

• Invite children to share with their classmates communications they have
received from their deployed parents.
Such communications may come via email,
letters, care packages, or video teleconferences (VTC).
Most military
units have access to phones and computers, including access to the Internet
and Web cams. This technology aids in communication.
(Be aware, however,
that not all military members and families have access to the Internet.
)
• Respect diverse family structures and living arrangements, such as children
living with grandparents.
For example, address correspondence to "Dear
Family" rather than "Dear Parent.
"
Beyond the Journal • Young Children on the Web • January 2007 3
Slight adaptations
to curriculum and
classroom structure
can help a child
continue to make
academic progress.

• Recognize and validate feelings children may experience during a deployment,
such as guilt, resentment, fear, anxiety, confusion, and anger.
A teacher
might say, "Carl, it's hard to be away from your dad.
Would you like to write
him a letter?"
• Acknowledge children's loss of time with an absent parent, and without
judgment or criticism encourage children to share their feelings and concerns
(Waddell & Thomas 2004).

• Encourage children to express their feelings through writing, drawing, roleplaying,
or performing puppet shows.
Provide time and materials for these
activities, and invite children to share their creations.

• Anticipate adjustment difficulties and carefully observe children in order to
design effective interventions.
Through observation, teachers can identify
children who are experiencing adjustment difficulties and may need additional
assistance, such as counseling.

• Be honest about or help interpret confusing information.
Teachers should tell
children the truth and help clear up misconceptions or stories from uninformed
sources, including other children.

• Be willing to say, "I don't know.
" Be careful not to provide false hope by saying
"Everything will be alright" or "I know how you feel.
" The truth is whatever
children are feeling, and the future is unknown (Waddell & Thomas 2004).

• Suggest that, before leaving home, a deployed parent record himself or herself
reading the child's favorite story or singing the child's favorite song or
lullaby.
The child can share the
recording with the class or listen to
it at bedtime (Pavlicin 2003).
The
United Through Reading program of
the Family Literacy Foundation can
assist deployed service members in
making a video of themselves reading
a story (go to www. read2kids. org/
united.htm for more information).

• Anticipate children's inability to
concentrate for long periods of time;
plan for shorter activities.
Reduce
children's workload as needed.
Be
patient and understanding when a
child's primary concern is not school
but what is going on with a deployed
parent.

• Display photos of the deployed parent
at work in uniform (Pavlicin 2003).

• Most important, make time to
listen to the children.

Supporting children through changes in the curriculum
Beyond assisting emotionally, teachers can help a child of a deployed parent
academically by making changes or additions to the curriculum.
"My teaching
definitely has to change," one second grade teacher in a public school says.
"I
need to research the country parents are deployed to so I can teach it in my
room.
" Slight adaptations to curriculum and classroom structure can help a
child continue to make academic progress.

© Laura J.
Colker
Beyond the Journal • Young Children on the Web • January 2007 4
• Integrate information on current military missions and countries in literacy,
themed essays, and stories (for children in primary grades).

• Read children's books that depict military families as main characters solving
problems and coping with stressful circumstances.
If such books are not readily
available, or as a follow-up to reading such books, the class could make their
own books. (See "Children's Books about Separation or Military Deployment.
")
• Post maps and provide globes so children can see some of the countries
where U.S.
troops are currently deployed (but remember that some military
members cannot tell their families where they are going).
Set one clock in the
classroom to the local time of parents' deployment sites.
Promote conversation
with children about activities deployed parents might be doing at certain times
throughout the day.

• Stay abreast of miltary current events by reading news articles, and watching
or listening to news programs.
Be mindful of any upsetting graphic images or
media bias concerning the military as you read, watch, and listen.

• Involve children in primary grades in age-appropriate classroom discussions
of current military and family situations, their feelings, news media reports, or
community concerns (Waddell & Thomas 2004).

Supporting caregivers at home
Family members caring for children with a deployed parent also need support.

Show them patience and understanding during this difficult time.

• Remain in frequent communication with the caregiver at home via phone
calls, e-mail, notes, and personal contacts.

• Relay information about changes in the child's behaviors at school and/or the
content of your conversations with the child concerning his or her feelings and
reaction to the parent's deployment.

• Provide all families with your home phone number and e-mail address on a
magnetic business card or in another easy-to-find format to encourage communication.

• Remind the caregiver that "it is not necessarily a parent's absence that affects
a child the most, it's how the other parent [or other caregiver at home] deals
with it" (Pavlicin 2003, 172).

Supporting parents who are deployed:
Although a service member may be deployed, he or she still desires to be an
active parent. These absent parents need support too.

• Send a copy of the class newsletter to the deployed parent.

• Document school events, field trips, and activities through videotaping,
photos, journal writing, and other means.
Digital photos and journal entries
can be sent electronically.
Maintain small photo albums of children engaged in
activities at school. Have the children decorate their albums.

• Create a class Web page with updated pictures and summaries of class activities
that all parents and other family members can view.
Make sure deployed
parents have the Web address.

• Allow the deployed parent to "watch" his/her child grow by maintaining an
updated height, size, and weight chart decorated with drawings and current
photographs.

• Record a child reading his or her favorite book, poem, or story and send the
audiotape to the deployed parent.

• Send samples of artwork, classwork,
class books, and letters to
deployed parents.

• Write and illustrate a class or
school book as a gift for a deployed
parent to share with a class or
school abroad.

Supporting a parent's return
• Post a countdown calendar in the
classroom or on the child's desk,
but remember, return dates may
change.

• Prepare a class "Welcome Home"
ban-ner when the deployed parent
returns.

• Invite the returned parent to a
class lunch and to observe his or
her child in the classroom.

• Remind families that all changes in
routine or home life can be stressful
for children, even if the changes are
happy ones, like the return of a parent from deployment.

Suggestions for schools:
Schools are the center of many communities.
Schools support the families of
their students, and military families should not be an exception.

• Plan a schoolwide American Spirit Day during which children show pride by
wearing red, white, and blue.

• Decorate school or school grounds with yellow ribbons.

• Initiate a schoolwide service project collecting materials for troops or needed
supplies for foreign schools or organizations.
(A list of acceptable materials for
troops can be found at www. operationmilitarypride. org/packages. html.
)
• Investigate and provide information on local social services, religious organizations,
or state support efforts for military families.

• Establish military parent support groups.

• Provide children with consistent access to caring adults and counselors.

• Set up a crisis team consisting of a principal, a counselor, and a local child
psychologist.
Create a plan to deal with serious situations that may occur, such
as the injury or death of a deployed loved one.

• Establish a buddy system (buddies can be the same age or different ages) or
a support group that meets on a regular basis for children with deployed
parents.

• Be sure that school policy supports appropriate referrals for educational,
health, and social services, as needed.

Web Resources:
Military Child Education Coalition—Provides goals, best practice strategies, available teacher conferences, and
teacher suggestions and support. A membership fee may be required. www. militarychild. org
Military Impacted Schools Association—Designed for schools populated with military children, it includes biographies
of military children, information on the different military branches, and best practices for the classroom.

www. militaryimpactedschoolsassociation. org
Military Student—Contains information, current issues, activities, and printable publications for children 6 to 13 years old,
parents, families with a child who has special needs, and military leaders. www. militarystudent. org
National Association of School Psychologists—Read "Parents Called to Active Duty: Helping Children Cope.
"
www. nasponline. org/resources/crisis%5Fsafety/parents-called-to-active. pdf
To share with families . . .

Deployment Link—Provides information to assist service members and their families dealing with deployments, including
family support links, activities for children, information to locate service members, and deployment benefits.

http://deploymentlink. osd. mil/deploy/family/family_support.
shtml
Military Life—Provides information related to the military family, including current events, parenting challenges, and deployment.

www. militarylife. com
Moms Over Miles—Provides helpful activities and inexpensive publications for mothers and fathers to strengthen their
relationship with their children while they are away.
It also suggests a book of activities to help children stay connected
to distant parents (purchase at http://fambooks. com/kids. htm). www. momsovermiles. com
Military. com—Contains facts about the five different branches of the military, recent publications, current events, and
links to various military sites. www. military. com
National Military Family Association—Assists families through research, education, legislation, and public information.

www. nmfa. org
Talk, Listen, Connect: Helping Families During Military Deployment.
Provides bilingual resources featuring Sesame
Street characters. See especially the video about the deployment of Elmo's father.

www. sesameworkshop. org/tlc/index. php

Children's Books
about Separation or
Military Deployment

Daddy, Will You Miss Me? by
Wendy McCormick. Illus.
by
Jennifer Eachus. 1999.

Grades K–2.

Daddy, You're My Hero! by
Michelle Ferguson-Cohen.

2002.
Grades K–1
.

The Magic Box: When Parents
Can't Be There To
Tuck You In, by Seymour
Epstein and Marty Sederman.

Illus.
by Karen Stormer
Brooks. 2003. Grades K–2.

Mommy, You're My Hero! by
Michelle Ferguson-Cohen.

2002. Grades K–2.

My Daddy Is a Soldier, by
Kirk Hilbrecht and Sharron
Hilbrecht. 2002. Grades K–1.

Soldier Mom, by Alice Mead.

1999. Grade 3.

Uncle Sam's Kids: When Duty
Calls, by Angela Sportelli-
Rehak. 2002. Grades K–3.

When Dad's at Sea, by Mindy
Pelton. Illus.
by Robert Gantt
Steele. 2004. Grades K–3.

While You Were Away, by
Eileen Spinelli. Illus.
by
Renee Graef. 2004. Pre-K–2.

A Year Without Dad, by Jodi
Brunson. Illus. by Cramer.

2003. Grades K–3.

A Yellow Ribbon for Daddy,
by Anissa Mersiowsky. Illus.

by Rey Contreras. 2005.

Grades K–3.
..

Children's Division Challenge 2008

2008-01-14T12:45:00.000-08:00

Kindergarten Kits

Description:
(1) Dozen Wooden # 2 Pencils
(2) #2 Laddie Pencils
(1) Box of 16 count Crayons
(1) Box of Thick Crayola Washable Marker
(2) Glue Stick
(1) 4oz Bottle of School Glue
(1) Pair of Fiskard Blunt Scissors
(2) Box of Tissues
(3) Pocket Folders
(1) Soap - liquid Soap
(1) 70 Sheet Spiral Notebook
(1) Pencils Box
(1) Paper Towels

Grade School Kits

Description:
(2) Dozen Wooden # 2 Pencils
(1) Dozen Ink Pens
(1) 4 Hi - Lighters
(1) Box of 16 count Crayons
(1) Box of Thin Crayola Washable Markers
(1) Box of Thick Crayola Washable Markers
(1) Box of Crayola Water Paint
(4) Glue Stick
(2) 4oz Bottle of School Glue
(1) Pair of Fiskard Blunt Scissors
(1) Box of Kleenex Tissue
(6) Pocket Folders
(6) 70 Sheet Spiral Notebook
(1) Pencils Box
(1) Pack of 100 count Index Cards
(2) Pack of 100 count Filler Paper
(1) One Inch Binder
(1) Composition Notebook
(1) Box of Crayola Color Pencils
(1) 12 Inch Ruler
(3) Pink Erasers

Middle School Kits
Description:
(2) Dozen Wooden # 2 Pencils
(1) Dozen Ink Pens
(1) Pack of 4 Hi - Lighters
(1) Student Planner
(1) Box of Thin Crayola Washable Markers
(1) Box of Thick Crayola Washable Marker
(1) Protractor
(4) Glue Stick
(2) 4oz Bottle of School Glue
(1) Pair of Student Scissors
(1) Compass
(6) Pocket Folders
(6) 70 Sheet Spiral Notebook
(1) Thesaurus
(1) Dictionary
(2) Pack of 100 count Index Cards
(2) Pack of 100 count Filler Paper
(1) One Inch Binder
(1) Composition Notebook
(1) Pocket Calculator
(1) Vinyl Zipper Pencils Case
(1) Pack of 3 Erasable Ink Pens
(1) Box of Crayola Color Pencils
(1) 12 Inch Ruler
(3) Pink Eraser

Custom School kits

Back Packs
Binders
Calculators
Compass
Computers Supplies
Crayons
Dictionary & Thesaurus
Erasers
Flash Cards
Folders
Glue
Hand & Baby Wipes
Highlighters
Index Cards
Ink Pens

Markers
Notebooks
Paint
Paper
Paper Towels
Pencils
Pencils Boxes & Cases
Pencils Grips
Pencils Sharpeners
Planners
Post-it Notes
Rest Mat
Rules & Protractors
Scissors
Sheet Protectors
Soap
Tab Dividers
Tape
Tissue
Zip Bags

Quilt of Holes

2007-08-02T14:47:00.000-07:00

As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along
with all the other souls.

Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many
piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together
into a tapestry that is our life.

But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how
ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant
holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been
difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in every day
life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of
all.

I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny
hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color
and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was
disheartened.

My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and
empty, like binding air.

Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the
light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn, holding up
their tapestries. So filled their lives had been. My angel looked upon
me, and nodded for me to rise.

My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly
fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been
trials of illness, and wealth, and false accusations that took from me
my world, as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often
struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the
strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in
prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held
up to ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to
the Father in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the
judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me.

And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I had to
accept it for what it was.

I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light.

An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who
stared at me with wide eyes.

Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many
holes, creating an image, the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before
me, with warmth and love in His eyes. He said, "Every time you gave over
your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles.

Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me
shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you."

May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Christ to shine
through!

Please share this with someone you love, care about or even someone who
needs Jesus in their heart. They may scoff, but at least the seed has
been planted, and God will do the rest. May God bless you today and
Forever! God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to
decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to
let go.
Sharing with you
God bless your Day

OUR CREED..

2007-07-29T15:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Heavenly Angels in Need Children's Division...Christmas 365 days a year!

We believe that babies and children, from birth to 18 years old should never be without the essentials they need. We believe that in any crisis, burnout's, removal from hardship situations, premature birth, passing at birth, car wrecks, or any time there is a need, there should always be the Spirit of Christmas in our hearts, "If you just believe!" Christmas is not just a feeling for one time a year, but each and every day. When you receive the gift of giving, the over whelming joy is inescapable. There are hard times, and wonderful times, sad times, and glad times.

Anyone who has a servant's heart will receive unending rewards through this organization that has already extended it's hand across this Nation and beyond. We have probably reached your area at least once already.

If you can buy dollar items, knit, crochet, sew, donate slightly used children’s clothes, write, do photography, organize events, do fundraiser's, hold garage sales or do crafts fairs, do wood working, paint, PowerPoint, buy school supplies, or anything else you can imagine, we need you.

We take wedding dresses, formal gowns, choir robes, or any other useable materials for donations to create caskets, burial item's, quilts, make blankets, or memory boxes for grieving parents that have lost a child.

We have links to "Now I lay me down to sleep", an organization that does free professional photography for parents when their baby has either passed or is passing. The parent's receive full right's to these picture's. We have angel stations across the United States and are consistently growing and need more stations to reach more area’s.

There is never a time when the need is not greater than we can give. There is always a need to fill and a child to clothe. baby formula to buy and special kids bags to fill. Can you supply a soft toy or teddy bear for a crying scared child coming from a bad situation?

Reach deep in your heart and touch the Spirit of Christmas. Is there a need you can take care of, a baby's bottle or tippy you can fill, can you buy pencils, pens, or other school supplies?

We also send to Military Hospitals, Indian Reservations, and neo-natal ICU's across the United State's. What can YOU do to help those that would like to "believe?" We at Heavenly Angels in Need look forward to hearing from you today.

GODS LITTLE ANGELS..

2007-07-27T11:39:00.000-07:00

God's Little Angels
--------------------

God has a mighty army
Of Angels everywhere.
Some you cannot see,
Some, our daily lives they share.

All have been summoned here
For specific reasons.
Some are here for an extented time,
Others for shorter seasons.

Angels guide, teach, and protect
Or shape our lives some way.
No one, only God Himself,
Knows why Angels cannot stay.

The Lord's ways are far too big
For us to fathom why,
But in time, we'll see in clarity
Why Angels say goodbye.

B.G. Wetherby
enchantedmountainpoems.com

2007-07-25T09:23:00.000-07:00

Fare Thee Well My Child by my friend BG Weatherby

2007-07-24T17:42:00.000-07:00

Fare Thee Well My Child

Time surrenders to no one
So the years have quickly passed.
You've grown into a young adult,
Seemingly, much to fast
I remember holding you as a newborn,
Tucking you into bed at night
The nest is only confining you,
For you're ready to take flight

Some moments could have been better,
While others I'd never trade.
Circumstances often made it difficult,
In the role that I played.
But everything that you've accomplished,
Shall make you standout in a crowd.
Now as you go, always know,
That you've made me proud.

Fare thee well my child,
You have blossomed on this day.
Leaving your childhood days behind,
Wings now wisk you away.
As you fly, new open sky,
May you attain all you hope to find.
Fare thee well my child,
You will be on my mind.

2006-07-14T14:07:00.000-07:00

I have found the most interesting friends in Heavenly Angels in Need and I know that you will too. May you be eternally blessed whenever you enter the realms of giving as unto the Lord.
I hope to invite you to join us in the largest endeavor most of us will ever face and show the love of Christ, our Creator, in all we do and give. Holiday Angel Pauline

Letter to Brother

2006-07-14T13:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Patrick,
I was then an only child who had everything I could ever want. But even a pretty, spoiled and rich kid could get lonely once in a while so when Mom told me that she was pregnant, I was ecstatic. I imagined how wonderful you would be and how we'd always be together and how much you would look like me. So, when you were born, I looked at your tiny hands and feet and marveled at how beautiful you were. We took you home and I showed you proudly to my friends. They would touch you and sometimes pinch you, but you never reacted. When you were five months old, some things began to bother Mom. You seemed so unmoving and numb, and your cry sounded odd -- almost like a kitten's.
So we brought you to many doctors. The thirteenth doctor who looked at you quietly said you have the "cry du chat" (pronounced kree-do-sha) syndrome, 'cry of the cat' in French. When I asked what that meant, he looked at me with pity and softly said, "Your brother will never walk nor talk."
The doctor told us that it is a condition that afflicts one in 50,000 babies, rendering victims severely retarded. Mom was shocked and I was furious. I thought it was unfair. When we went home, Mom took you in her arms and cried. I looked at you and realized that word will get around that you're not normal. So to hold on to my popularity, I did the unthinkable ... I disowned you. Mom and Dad didn't know but I steeled myself not to love you as you grew.
Mom and Dad showered you with love and attention and that made me bitter. And as the years passed, that bitterness turned to anger, and then hate.
Mom never gave up on you. She knew she had to do it for your sake. Every time she put your toys down, you'd roll instead of crawl. I watched her heart break every time she took away your toys and strapped your tummy with foam so you couldn't roll. You'd struggle and you'd cry in that pitiful way, the cry of the kitten. But she still didn't give up. And then one day, you defied what all your doctors said -- you crawled. When Mom saw this, she knew that you would eventually walk. So when you were still crawling at age four, she'd put you on the grass with only your diapers on knowing that you hate the feel of the grass your skin. Then she'd leave you there. I would sometimes watch from the window and smile at your discomfort. You would crawl to the sidewalk and Mom would put you back. Again and again, Mom repeated this on the lawn.
Until one day, Mom saw you pull yourself up and toddle off the grass as fast as your little legs could carry you. Laughing and crying, she shouted for Dad and I to come. Dad hugged you crying openly. I watched from my bedroom window this heartbreaking scene. Over the years, Mom taught you to speak, read and write. From then on, I would sometimes see you walk outside, smell the flowers, marvel at the birds, or just smile at no one. I began to see the beauty of the world around me, the simplicity of life and the wonders of this world, through your eyes. It was then that I realized that you were my brother and no matter how much I tried to hate you, I couldn't, because I had grown to love you.
During the next few days, we again became acquainted with each other. I would buy you toys and give you all the love that a sister could ever give to her brother. And you would reward me by smiling and hugging me.
But I guess, you were never really meant for us. On your tenth birthday, you felt severe headaches. The doctor's diagnosis -- leukemia. Mom gasped and Dad held her, while I fought hard to keep my tears from falling. At that moment, I loved you all the more. I couldn't even bear to leave your side. Then the doctors told us that your only hope was to have a bonemarrow transplant. You became the subject of a nationwide donor search. When at last we found the right match, you were too sick, and the doctor reluctantly ruled out the operations. Since then, you underwent chemotherapy and radiation.
Even at the end, you continued to pursue life. Just a month before you died, you made me draw up a list of things you wanted to do when you got out of the hospital. Two days after the list was completed, you asked the doctors to send you home. There, we ate ice cream and cake, run across the grass, flew kites, went fishing, took pictures of one another and let the balloons fly.
I remember the last conversation that we had. You said that if you die, and if I need of help, I could send you a note to heaven by tying it on the string any a balloon and letting it fly. When you said this, Istarted crying. Then you hugged me. Then again, for the last time, you got sick.
That last night, you asked for water, a back rub, a cuddle. Finally, you went into seizure with tears streaming down your face. Later, at the hospital, you struggled to talk but the words wouldn't come. I know what you wanted to say. "I hear you," I whispered. And for the last time, I said, "I'll always love you and I will never forget you. Don't be afraid. You'll soon be with God in heaven."
Then, with my tears flowing freely, I watched the bravest boy I had ever known finally stop breathing. Dad, Mom and I cried until I felt as if there were no more tears left. Patrick was finally gone, leaving us behind.
From then on, you were my source of inspiration. You showed me how to love life and live life to the fullest. With your simplicity and honesty, you showed me a world full of love and caring. And you made me realize that the most important thing in this life is to continue loving without asking why or how and without setting any limit. Thank you, my little brother, for all these.
Your sister,Sarah